Sunday 8 March 2009

tale of three cities

I have many best friends. Two of them are those I'm about to tell here. Why them? It's because somehow..we three are having a rough time dealing with life at the similar time.

We are spread in wo continents, two countries, and three different cities. I'm in UK, and they're in Indonesia, my beloved home country. There, they were also nt in the same city, one of them are on business trip in West Java. So here's our tale..

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Ary - male, 29 years old, Jakarta, ID.


"Sh*t!! it always happens to me!!"

He's a man with a very high ego. In love, he never took much time to think and review. Once he feels comfortable, he will ask the girl to be his girlfriend. Even with the one he barely knew for few weeks. The problem is, girls loved to be chased and ditched. Somehow, it makes us girls feel miserable and curious at the same time. It challanges us to conquer what a man wants. With Ary's pattern...his girl barely has these feelings.

His last relationship only lasts for a while. It was okaiy, no fightings, no arguments, but suddenly the girl just went into silence. No news, no calls, no texts,....nothing. Of course Ary felt something's wrong without really knowing what happens. Then they broke up with a very cliche reason. Since then, he learned that no matter what happens, his girl have to tell him directly when she feels something's wrong. It took him quite a while to heal himself from the wound untill he can start a new relationship.

Now, it happens again with her current girlfriend..

exit strategy : none. Everything goes just as it is.


Leny- female, 27, Bandung-Garut, ID.

"Unlimited humanity..again and again"

She is a smart and independent girl. Her love life is not always smooth. She never judge people from their appearances. She has a big heart when it comes to supporting her loved ones. She knew exactly that logic don't always synchronized with feelings when it comes to love. Her recent ex boyfriend needs her support..mentally, while she knew she's not supposed to do that since it's too risky for her heart. The recovery phase from her break up is still an on going process, and probably will need more time than what she had planned in mind. Sometimes, she finds her tears falling down for just thinking about him, and her concentration became easily distracted. She thought it's the PMS thing..but it's not. It may be exaggerated by the PMS, but it happens all the time.

This time, she risks her time and her heart..while the biological clock is ticking...tick..tock..tick..tock..

Exit strategy : Weekend escape with cousins. Distracting her thoughts into something else, something new to fulfill her curiosity for the universe.


Me - female, 27, Exeter, UK

"God, please give me the strength to move on.."

My relationship with this guy (the one that I mention alot in my pieces) has ended formally years ago. Somehow, we're still seeing eachother and tried hard (it falls apart most of the times, though..) to be just friends. I knew deep down he wasn't the one for me. But back then, I don't have the heart to leave him just like that while he was struggling with his financial and carreer problems. After he overcome all those troubles, we still tried to stay away, but we can't. When we haven't seen eachother for a while, we started to make up for silly reasons to see eachother again.

My decision to pursue higher degree is somewhat influenced by this problem. I realized that I wouldn't really over him if I didn't make radical changes. So here I am, seperated by continent, time zone, and very limited communications. I still find it hard not to think about him. He still went online to discuss a few things occasionally. But at least now we're physically very much apart, which increases the communication barriers.

A part of me is gone with him, and I'm struggling to fill the missing pieces here..

Exit strategy : New life in a new town, courseworks.

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Last year, we can still be together on these times. Sometimes we call eachother at midnight to talk about our problems, or even went into eachother's place to discuss things out, sometimes just to cry or burst into tears (damn, I missed those moments!). Time flies, our job took more time than it used to, we planned oour future with our own ways. Luckily, thanks to the technology..we are still able to share our problems online. I have no idea what will happens if there's no internet. I'm alone on the other part f the world struggling with my emptiness...it'll be like hell...

Although we're miles away, technology makes us close to eachother. Sometimes when I'm sad, writing email became the best medicine. I instantly feel better. The next day, when I saw their mails...I feel much much better. Look how words can be such a magical power :) The only problem is timezone...but that's fine. My insomnia managed to have a midnight small talks (or morning small talks to them) that'll make me smile...

Have you ever felt the joy of laughing on your own mistakes of life?
It might sounds silly, but the laughing made it easier to bare...
And these guys...they're those I can share my deepest joy and pain with...

They might be bored to hear me saying "I'm just an email away"..
Whatever you problem, wherever you are, whenever it is...never stop sending email.

To the world, you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world...

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