for a reason.

I never enjoy this pms thing.

Since he's back on twitter, I sometimes tweet no mention in reply to his tweet(s). If you ever asked me why I did that, it's because I'd love to get re-connected to him, but somehow I don't have the courage. Somehow I'm terribly afraid that he wouldn't accept me. But today, I did the tweet no mention again, and he replied. Some part of me are happy. Some aren't.

Happy because although he erased my pin, he still follows me on twitter. Well, that's another story. To cut it short, I never replied to his last text msg. I'm letting it be. Hopeless to get things back as it used to be. When everything went well.

Thus, I'm sad because it makes me remember all the things we used to do. The late night jokes, the unimportant thing we talked for ages, the serious chat, everything. I missed all those things. I miss his presence on guiding me on track. I miss his comforting words. There are still some promises we haven't had the chance to deliver. I suppose it won't happen. Ever.

I have to admit he plays an important role in my life. If it wasn't him who did the effort, I'm not sure I am where I am today. I might be lost. He handled me very well at that time. I was on a very critical phase, and he managed to put me back on the right track. But since things aren't going well since then, I'd rather have him just the way when we're apart.

I believe everyone was here for a reason. Including him. I choose to believe that he was sent to bring me back to my sanity. Now that I'm here already, his tasks is done. It's my turn to do all the hard work. And what about him? He's still there...watching me from a far.

While some part of me wish he would be here..watching me closely...