the catwalk called life.

pas waktu itu lagi suntuk, gue jalan ke luar rumah. It's good to be out loh ternyata, despite cuaca disini yang ga menentu ituh...kayaknya waktu itu udah lama gue nggak keluar, jadi gue berasa energized buat ke luar rumah. Refreshing...

Lagi jalan kaki nungguin lampu merah, gue mendadak inget ke masa lalu, yang ga lalu2 amat itu..tentang perjalanan gue kesini. Perjalanan yang sesungguhnya adalah untuk menemukan jati diri gue yang ilang, sekaligus meramu perkiraan masa depan gue. It took me quite a while to realize that I've grown in so many ways during this year. Singkat kata, gue merasa mulai menemukan jati diri gue. Those missing puzzles were finally found. And yet, some I'm missing some other pieces, that was already there...

Gue dulu pergi karna dengan terpaksa gue harus mengubur sebuah mimpi, sambil mewujudkan mimpi yang lain. You lose some, you gain some. Ini seperti kalo lo blajar statistik, atau operation research, namanya Game Theory. Maximum gain, in minimum condition. Di sini gue seperti ngebuka lembaran baru. Start all over again, even ampe lifestyle. Gue nggak lagi urakan kayak dulu yang begajulan. Disini gue ngerasa lebih punya kendali ama hidup gue. And to be honest, I like it. I do miss some things, but that's alright.

Sepertinya semua perilaku orang yang sempet membuat gue kecewa taun lalu itu, sedikit2 tapi pasti mulai bisa di tolerir. I'm not saying that they're right, till the universe fall apart, they remain with intolerable mistakes. Thus, sometimes the best thing is to just let it go. After all, the best part is when I kinda found my way to forgive myself; the most essential part of self healing. I suppose I'm lucky enough to be able to detox myself here. Somewhere new, remote, and unreachable.

I spent more 'me time' here than I was in Jakarta. I like that 'me time', you know...reflecting on yourself, do whatever you want to do, relax, chill, read some books..quality time with myself. The intense 'me time' is also one among other things that made my self healing went well.

Theres this old saying "time heals, you just have to give time...a time" and it did happen in me. I gave time a time...to reconcile with the past...how it works, God does make the impossible became possible, in a wonderful way...And by the time I'm back to hometown, I will be able to have my chin up and walk gracefuly in the catwalk called...life....















let go all the burdens..and fly as high as you can..