Maunya apa sih ni orang ya?...
Kalo emang serius, bilang terus terang!
Banyak yang musti dibenahin,
Kawin ga kayak beli kucing dalam karung,
Lo musti tau banyak tentang gue,
Emang selama ini lo tau apa?
Selama ini gue tau apa?
Emang lo bisa terima gue apa adanya?
Emang gue bisa terima elo the whole package?
Pandangan gue tentang perkawinan gimana?
Ga segampang itu!
Ga secepet itu!
Semua ada prosesnya, ga maen tembak langsung begitu..
Mau lo apa sih???...
Thursday, 6 May 2010
MR. IOUS.
Since the day I met you, I never knew what you've been looking from me. Look at us, we're like 180 different. I'm good girl gone bad (which u strongly disagree); and you're like bad guy gone good. And you are good. I'm not. I stil play with my life. I like extreme games (this one you also disagree). Thus, you keep yourself close. Not like physically close, but you're always there. You talked about marriage, and I have doubt in marriage. I doubt it because I am scared. I have so many secret. So many things hidden in my past and in my family. I don't think you can take it. I don't think I can take you taking it.
Look at you. You sort of care about me. You guide me back on track. You never treated me wrong. You're... different. Sometimes I believe you're the one, but sometimes I don't want you to be the one. You have this door to your life. And you shut it carefully. I can never breakthrough. I never knew what I want to know about you. This whatever relationship is never be equal. I never knew why you always there. Whenever I am, whenever I'm in doubt, you're there. But why? If you're not the one, why you're there? why you stay? Mysterious, yes you are.
Look at me. I'm bad, lousy, and stoopid. I'm careless, fortunately, with you I don't need to care about you because you can take care of yourself. With you, I knew I can lean on when I need you. You comfort me with your words, well guess what? that's what I rarely got. But no you're not here. I feel like I'm sharing you, and that's something I can't do. I've been sharing, now I want one just for me. You said I'm good, but I'm not. Too soon for you to conclude. If you ever want to be a part of my life, you might get a shot. I'm stone cold in front of you. Yes, I hide my feelings. I need to be on my own. On the other side, I share my life to everyone (celebrity? uh no thanks..). I just wish you want to know them even more. I just wish you're...really here in a normal way.
I have too many questions to ask, I doubt you'll have all the answer I need.
Look at you. You sort of care about me. You guide me back on track. You never treated me wrong. You're... different. Sometimes I believe you're the one, but sometimes I don't want you to be the one. You have this door to your life. And you shut it carefully. I can never breakthrough. I never knew what I want to know about you. This whatever relationship is never be equal. I never knew why you always there. Whenever I am, whenever I'm in doubt, you're there. But why? If you're not the one, why you're there? why you stay? Mysterious, yes you are.
Look at me. I'm bad, lousy, and stoopid. I'm careless, fortunately, with you I don't need to care about you because you can take care of yourself. With you, I knew I can lean on when I need you. You comfort me with your words, well guess what? that's what I rarely got. But no you're not here. I feel like I'm sharing you, and that's something I can't do. I've been sharing, now I want one just for me. You said I'm good, but I'm not. Too soon for you to conclude. If you ever want to be a part of my life, you might get a shot. I'm stone cold in front of you. Yes, I hide my feelings. I need to be on my own. On the other side, I share my life to everyone (celebrity? uh no thanks..). I just wish you want to know them even more. I just wish you're...really here in a normal way.
I have too many questions to ask, I doubt you'll have all the answer I need.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
NASIONAL.IS.ME
Buku yang dibuat oleh seorang pemuda Indonesia bernama Pandji Pragiwaksono ini sangat inspiratif. Pantas kalo gue acungin jempol ampe 8 (ama jempol nyokap gue, seseorang yang paling berarti dalam hidup gue). Gue nggak banyak kaget dan terpesona sebenernya, karena poin penting yang mau disampaikannya sebagian udah gue alamin sendiri. Antara lain akan gue jabarin di bawah.
Indonesia itu Indah - Iya banget. Setelah gue keliling, gue punya pola yang bisa dibilang monoton untuk beberapa daerah. Misalnya, kalo ke Eropa, lo akan eneg ama Gereja yang aneka rupa, tapi paling mentok pas lo liat St Peter Basilica di Vatikan. /abis lo liat itu, Gereja2 laen akan nampak...biasa2 aja. Bentuk bangunan yang lama-nya ya begitu2 aja. Wisata alamnya, yaaahh cupu. Tapi kalo Indonesia, lo boleh berbangga hati karena selama perjalanan gue, Indonesia masih memegang peringkat juara buat kumpulan pantainya yang indah. Mau pantai karang kek, pantai apa kek..tetep paling cakep. Lembah dan gunungnya juga mag-ni-fi-cent!!! you just can't get enough of it. Sangat dianjurkan buat eksplorasi kekayaan negeri, karena sumpah kita sangat kaya.
Indonesia Ekonominya bagus - yes, berdasarkan berbagai studi, ekonomi Indonesia cukup stabil dalam menghadapi badai krisis finansial 2008 kemarin. Kita cuman defisit 2% dibandingin negara lain yang berada di kisaran 9%-11%. Majalah The Economics edisi sekitar October 2009 pernah menyediakan sebuah ulasan komprehensif mengenai Indonesia dan memuji kestabilan negara kita sehingga dibilang negara kita ini potensial menjadi besar. Sekarang universitas2 di dunia sedang gencar membahas tentang Cina dan India. Kalau kita bisa memantain atau meningkatkan posisi negara kita, ga menutup kemungkinan kalo Indonesia akan jadi topik penting beberapa tahun ke depan. Hermawan Kertajaya sendiri bilang kalo ngomongin Asia, 4 negara yang jadi bahan pembicaraan: Cina, India, Vietnam, Indonesia. See? We are that potential!!
Indonesia = Creative - Dengan kekayaan budaya begini rupa? Pastinya kreatif. Banyak wakil kita di kancah dunia, dari bidang Sains ampe Entertainment (bukan entertain kayak yang suka dibilang ama artes2 di tv..kampring!). Bandung itu kota yang kreatif karena seniman dan suporternya. Warga Bandung sangat mendukung kreasi2 yang tercipta, makanya acara2 sering digelar dan jarang sepi. Kalo jalan ke kota2 kecil, sering ba get kan lo liat hasil pengrajin2 lokal yang harganya sangat terjangkau. Gue dan Nyokap seringkali jalan2 misalnya ke Jepara dan pesen furniture yang agak banyak. Harganya jauh lebih murah daripada harga Jakarta dan ukirannya jauh lebih apik. Nyokap gue nggak pernah nawar terlalu jauh, kadang dia cuman make sure ja kalo harganya 'pantes'. Dia sangat menghargai hasil karya anak negeri, dan membantu mereka berkembang. Contoh lain adalah berhubungan dengan hobi nyokap yang koleksi kain. Setiap gue ke sebuah daerah, nyokap selalu mencari kain khas daerah itu dan beli. Mau harganya jutaan (bukan nyombong, tapi emang ga murah, karna pembuatannya ga gampang), dia bakal beli (selama harganya dinilai pantas). Pernah suatu kali kita ke rumah kecil tempat pengrajin kain Palembang, dan si nenek2 pengrajinnya lagi nganyam. Nyokap udah suka ama anyamannya, tu kain dibeli saat itu juga, untuk dikirim ke Jakarta begitu kainnya selesai dibuat. Sebulan kemudian, kain itu sampai ke rumah gue. Lemari khusus diperuntukkan nyimpan berbagai kain. Dari batik Iyut, Eyang, yang dia koleksi sendiri, tenun Lampung, Palembang, Medan, Padang, Timor, Makassar..you name it, we have it. Yes, we love Indonesia.
Setidaknya 3 hal itu cukup kuat untuk membuat gue mencintai negeri ini. Terlebih setelah gue ke luar, dan gue ngeliat kalo ternyata negara lain pun ga se-indah yang selama ini kita pikir. Sama aja punya konflik, masalah, dan isu2. Tapi urusan negara lain, gue ga peduli (egois dikit..heheh). Gue mau urusin negeri gue. Gue mau bergerak dan berkarya buat negeri ini. Alesan yang membuat gue memilih balik daripada berjuang mati2an di negeri orang; gue akan merasa lebih puas dan lebih berarti kalo berjuang mati2an di negeri sendiri. I'll do whatever I can. I travel alot, pertama karna gue suka jalan2; kedua, karna gue pengen share ke seluruh dunia bahwa negara gue bagus dan lo ga bakal nyesel kalo kesana. Kadang gue gemes ama kelakuan pemerintah yang kurang support ama parwisata padahal kalo digarap serius, yakin banget gue...GA BAKAL SEDIKIT PENDAPATAN DARI PARIWISATA. But they are who they are. I can't change them, but I can change my attitude. Semua dimulai dari diri sendiri.
Kalau bukan kita yang mulai menghargai, gimana orang lain mau menghargai?
kalo bukan kita yang cinta negeri ini, siapa lagi?
INDONESIAUNITE
Indonesia itu Indah - Iya banget. Setelah gue keliling, gue punya pola yang bisa dibilang monoton untuk beberapa daerah. Misalnya, kalo ke Eropa, lo akan eneg ama Gereja yang aneka rupa, tapi paling mentok pas lo liat St Peter Basilica di Vatikan. /abis lo liat itu, Gereja2 laen akan nampak...biasa2 aja. Bentuk bangunan yang lama-nya ya begitu2 aja. Wisata alamnya, yaaahh cupu. Tapi kalo Indonesia, lo boleh berbangga hati karena selama perjalanan gue, Indonesia masih memegang peringkat juara buat kumpulan pantainya yang indah. Mau pantai karang kek, pantai apa kek..tetep paling cakep. Lembah dan gunungnya juga mag-ni-fi-cent!!! you just can't get enough of it. Sangat dianjurkan buat eksplorasi kekayaan negeri, karena sumpah kita sangat kaya.
Indonesia Ekonominya bagus - yes, berdasarkan berbagai studi, ekonomi Indonesia cukup stabil dalam menghadapi badai krisis finansial 2008 kemarin. Kita cuman defisit 2% dibandingin negara lain yang berada di kisaran 9%-11%. Majalah The Economics edisi sekitar October 2009 pernah menyediakan sebuah ulasan komprehensif mengenai Indonesia dan memuji kestabilan negara kita sehingga dibilang negara kita ini potensial menjadi besar. Sekarang universitas2 di dunia sedang gencar membahas tentang Cina dan India. Kalau kita bisa memantain atau meningkatkan posisi negara kita, ga menutup kemungkinan kalo Indonesia akan jadi topik penting beberapa tahun ke depan. Hermawan Kertajaya sendiri bilang kalo ngomongin Asia, 4 negara yang jadi bahan pembicaraan: Cina, India, Vietnam, Indonesia. See? We are that potential!!
Indonesia = Creative - Dengan kekayaan budaya begini rupa? Pastinya kreatif. Banyak wakil kita di kancah dunia, dari bidang Sains ampe Entertainment (bukan entertain kayak yang suka dibilang ama artes2 di tv..kampring!). Bandung itu kota yang kreatif karena seniman dan suporternya. Warga Bandung sangat mendukung kreasi2 yang tercipta, makanya acara2 sering digelar dan jarang sepi. Kalo jalan ke kota2 kecil, sering ba get kan lo liat hasil pengrajin2 lokal yang harganya sangat terjangkau. Gue dan Nyokap seringkali jalan2 misalnya ke Jepara dan pesen furniture yang agak banyak. Harganya jauh lebih murah daripada harga Jakarta dan ukirannya jauh lebih apik. Nyokap gue nggak pernah nawar terlalu jauh, kadang dia cuman make sure ja kalo harganya 'pantes'. Dia sangat menghargai hasil karya anak negeri, dan membantu mereka berkembang. Contoh lain adalah berhubungan dengan hobi nyokap yang koleksi kain. Setiap gue ke sebuah daerah, nyokap selalu mencari kain khas daerah itu dan beli. Mau harganya jutaan (bukan nyombong, tapi emang ga murah, karna pembuatannya ga gampang), dia bakal beli (selama harganya dinilai pantas). Pernah suatu kali kita ke rumah kecil tempat pengrajin kain Palembang, dan si nenek2 pengrajinnya lagi nganyam. Nyokap udah suka ama anyamannya, tu kain dibeli saat itu juga, untuk dikirim ke Jakarta begitu kainnya selesai dibuat. Sebulan kemudian, kain itu sampai ke rumah gue. Lemari khusus diperuntukkan nyimpan berbagai kain. Dari batik Iyut, Eyang, yang dia koleksi sendiri, tenun Lampung, Palembang, Medan, Padang, Timor, Makassar..you name it, we have it. Yes, we love Indonesia.
Setidaknya 3 hal itu cukup kuat untuk membuat gue mencintai negeri ini. Terlebih setelah gue ke luar, dan gue ngeliat kalo ternyata negara lain pun ga se-indah yang selama ini kita pikir. Sama aja punya konflik, masalah, dan isu2. Tapi urusan negara lain, gue ga peduli (egois dikit..heheh). Gue mau urusin negeri gue. Gue mau bergerak dan berkarya buat negeri ini. Alesan yang membuat gue memilih balik daripada berjuang mati2an di negeri orang; gue akan merasa lebih puas dan lebih berarti kalo berjuang mati2an di negeri sendiri. I'll do whatever I can. I travel alot, pertama karna gue suka jalan2; kedua, karna gue pengen share ke seluruh dunia bahwa negara gue bagus dan lo ga bakal nyesel kalo kesana. Kadang gue gemes ama kelakuan pemerintah yang kurang support ama parwisata padahal kalo digarap serius, yakin banget gue...GA BAKAL SEDIKIT PENDAPATAN DARI PARIWISATA. But they are who they are. I can't change them, but I can change my attitude. Semua dimulai dari diri sendiri.
Kalau bukan kita yang mulai menghargai, gimana orang lain mau menghargai?
kalo bukan kita yang cinta negeri ini, siapa lagi?
INDONESIAUNITE
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
the world and the after life.
I've been trying to learn more about my religion lately. The thing is, the more I know, the less I understand. Like when it comes about our life in the world and the after life. In Ramadhan, during the month, we are supposed to be more attached in to activities that'll secure our place in the after life. But as a human, we do work for our life. If we have to concentrate totlly on our after life security activities, we might lost what we've been building so far in life. I believe my religion shouldn't make it any harder. There's gotta be some ways to overcome the problem. Such as win-win solutions. I still have plenty un-answered questions.
The more I know, the less I understand....
The more I know, the less I understand....
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
the first among the girls.
From the moment we were teenagers, and grew up, we put on a bet on who's the first one that's getting married. The bet was on the girls, because of the age factors and our local Eastern tradition. However, things didn't seems to work the way we'd expect it to be. The guys said the vow first. So far, there are two (out of 9) is married, June another one is getting married, yes..all of them are guys. I thought it's acurse that all the girls are not so fortunate when it comes to love life. But the curse is about to break.
Leny is getting married. They've talked about it quite seriously, and as alway...I'm the who became extremely happy. Especially since she's like a sister to me. I never had a sister, with her, I feel like I have one. We share everything. Like practically everything. She taught me how to do y first kiss, and all dating thingy. She rescued me from a not-so-well date(s). She's the one who stood by me and encouaged me whenever I'm in a low down. Yet, she never against me on any of my relationshit. She's always happy for me although she knew exactly that the guy I was with is a complete a** hole. Then again, she let me cry on her shoulder, and managed to find me a time in her loaded schedule.
By those reasons, how can I not be happy :D I'm the one who's very excited. I asked my friend to get me one whole set of toiletteries from M&S for her. And I'm so ready to be her bumper and accompany her through all the way. I might as well cry, but these are the tears of happiness. I am so happy. Suddenly, the thing of me being single is no longer major issue. I do stressed out a bit for not having a secure relationship (well, that's the story we wnted to be, that by the time one of us is getting married, the others would aready in a secure relationship..not everything goes the way we want it too tho..); but her happiness, and her matters comes first.
Hopefully, after one of the girl is down the isle, soon the rest will follow...Amiiinnn
Leny is getting married. They've talked about it quite seriously, and as alway...I'm the who became extremely happy. Especially since she's like a sister to me. I never had a sister, with her, I feel like I have one. We share everything. Like practically everything. She taught me how to do y first kiss, and all dating thingy. She rescued me from a not-so-well date(s). She's the one who stood by me and encouaged me whenever I'm in a low down. Yet, she never against me on any of my relationshit. She's always happy for me although she knew exactly that the guy I was with is a complete a** hole. Then again, she let me cry on her shoulder, and managed to find me a time in her loaded schedule.
By those reasons, how can I not be happy :D I'm the one who's very excited. I asked my friend to get me one whole set of toiletteries from M&S for her. And I'm so ready to be her bumper and accompany her through all the way. I might as well cry, but these are the tears of happiness. I am so happy. Suddenly, the thing of me being single is no longer major issue. I do stressed out a bit for not having a secure relationship (well, that's the story we wnted to be, that by the time one of us is getting married, the others would aready in a secure relationship..not everything goes the way we want it too tho..); but her happiness, and her matters comes first.
Hopefully, after one of the girl is down the isle, soon the rest will follow...Amiiinnn
Thursday, 22 April 2010
disconnect.
Semakin hari gue semakin menemukan ketidak cocokan antara gue dan dia. I've told you guys that he's fanatic right? not to mention that he supports poligamy. I might as well say that I do believe it happens, but I don't support it. I still think that it's not fair for women. Men and their ability to be fair? Who can ever guarantee? Even our own prophet does not sure that he's fair enough although I believe he tried his best and he probably does. So then I made myself clear that I'm not discussing it, (as well as he is) to get married with eachother. So we're clear about it.
I've been sharing my man for the last few years, and I came to a conclusion that I don't enjoy it. Thus, such behavior is unacceptable in my manners. Please do understand that some people maybe that strong to hold on. Well, I am definetely exclude in that group. I only want a normal life. Me, one man (husband) and kids. A normal life.
It's about time to call it off. Dead end, and the next thing to do, to go back and start again. I'm tired, but I can't stop. I have to go on, and have some faith. Singletini's, here we goooo!!!!!
I've been sharing my man for the last few years, and I came to a conclusion that I don't enjoy it. Thus, such behavior is unacceptable in my manners. Please do understand that some people maybe that strong to hold on. Well, I am definetely exclude in that group. I only want a normal life. Me, one man (husband) and kids. A normal life.
It's about time to call it off. Dead end, and the next thing to do, to go back and start again. I'm tired, but I can't stop. I have to go on, and have some faith. Singletini's, here we goooo!!!!!
Thursday, 15 April 2010
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