MR. IOUS.

Since the day I met you, I never knew what you've been looking from me. Look at us, we're like 180 different. I'm good girl gone bad (which u strongly disagree); and you're like bad guy gone good. And you are good. I'm not. I stil play with my life. I like extreme games (this one you also disagree). Thus, you keep yourself close. Not like physically close, but you're always there. You talked about marriage, and I have doubt in marriage. I doubt it because I am scared. I have so many secret. So many things hidden in my past and in my family. I don't think you can take it. I don't think I can take you taking it.

Look at you. You sort of care about me. You guide me back on track. You never treated me wrong. You're... different. Sometimes I believe you're the one, but sometimes I don't want you to be the one. You have this door to your life. And you shut it carefully. I can never breakthrough. I never knew what I want to know about you. This whatever relationship is never be equal. I never knew why you always there. Whenever I am, whenever I'm in doubt, you're there. But why? If you're not the one, why you're there? why you stay? Mysterious, yes you are.

Look at me. I'm bad, lousy, and stoopid. I'm careless, fortunately, with you I don't need to care about you because you can take care of yourself. With you, I knew I can lean on when I need you. You comfort me with your words, well guess what? that's what I rarely got. But no you're not here. I feel like I'm sharing you, and that's something I can't do. I've been sharing, now I want one just for me. You said I'm good, but I'm not. Too soon for you to conclude. If you ever want to be a part of my life, you might get a shot. I'm stone cold in front of you. Yes, I hide my feelings. I need to be on my own. On the other side, I share my life to everyone (celebrity? uh no thanks..). I just wish you want to know them even more. I just wish you're...really here in a normal way.

I have too many questions to ask, I doubt you'll have all the answer I need.