Pagi ini dia telpon lagi, buat minta maaf (yup, untuk ke seribu kali-nya) untuk kejadian semalem, dimana sejauh apapun gue, masih aja gue yang jadi tempat dia mengeluarkan isi hatinya (according to him, not me), dan dia mulai cerita tentang hidupnya sekarang. He said that he screwed up big time. His business, his family, his relationship, everything. His marriage got delayed because of her girlfriend's sister got married this year; meanwhile, his family just heard about this a week before their departure to the girl's hometown and felt being played by the girl's family; and his crew are not doing their job which ruins his cash flow and he had to sell his car because of that. For a grown up boy like him, that's already too much.
So there he is, last night, saying all those stupid things we both knew wouldn't happen, just to fill up the slot at his planned marriage. Damn, did he think I'm his last option? I'm the engineer who has the ability to fix everything in his life? Yeah, it happens almost everytime. Talk to me and voila! He'll knew what to do next, and everything will be alright. But marriage??....Didn't he remember the day I had enough of him? The day I said no? The day I called to say I'm leaving that day? And most of all, days when I answered "I don't know" to every when I'll be coming back home question?...I'm not going to be the engineer this time, I'm not going to fix his life, especially by becoming his available last option! Although I am available, I am not the girl to fill the slot. I am not somebody's last option. I'm the first option...
My dear boy, like what Serena Van Der Woodsen said to Nate Archibald on the early episode of Gossip girl when she got back to town after her 1 year dissappearance:
"I didn't come back for you..."
Serena Van Der Woodsen
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