doubts.

i lost count of how many times you opened my eyes. last night you did it again. it's about making me closer to The Creator. it is so true when you said all the doubts are made up. made up by what others think of me, while it really doesn't matter. not at all. it was not an easy topic. i don't know why you came up with that topic. but point taken, you wanted me to think. to get the whole idea. give me some time to think it through. this is not something i can do and bail out.

my doubts are with others. what would others feel, what would others think, what would others do, will i be able to do the activities i've been doing? all those questions raise without me confirming the answer.

i used to think that i'll do it after i got married. now i begin to questioned the idea.
i don't know...
i don't know...
my dear Creator, please show me, please erase all the doubts...please..please...

maybe this is what is called by point of no return. please lead me, drag me, whatever...

safe.flight.home.

when you told me where you are, I wish you'll be back home soon.
when you told me that you'll be heading home this afternoon, I say "why so soon??"

hahahhahaha... yeah, it's always wrong...hahahhaha!!!
at least we could share a good laugh...hehehhehehe

distance oh distance..

sometimes...in some cases...distance doesn't matter...

taken from my email inbox..last year... :)

______________________________

From: def@yahoo.com
Sent: 08-12-2009 09:20:25
Subject: Re: Where art thou?


Errr... Ain't we're doing it right now? Although separated by time and space, we still are doing it. Hehehe..




Public Relations & Media Consultant

This email was sent from a local public pay phone. Yes, the kind that has booths overhead and you have to insert coins to use 'em. Nifty eh?

______________________________

-----Original Message-----
From: abc@yahoo.com
Sent: 08-12-2009 09:19:38
Subject: Re: Where art thou?

Btw..jadi pengen ngupi2 +ngobrol2 ama kamu :(
Sent from mobile device


______________________________

help.me.i'm.lost?

Here's the thing about us. I finally managed to see things through other perspectives. I find other sources. Foe the time being, it's quite alright. Anyhooo.....

Things are gettin pretty much better between us. I thought it might get worse, but it didn't. It gets better. And better. And better. Bit by bit we tell eachother something that we haven't had the nerve to ask either of us. But not everything tho. Not yet. Despite the fact that I enjoy what we have, I'm kinda lost where we're going.

If we're just friends, I don't think friends talked everytime. Like from dusk til...dusk?
If we're just friends, I don't think friends trade in sickness and in health...
If we're just friends, I don't think you'd always wake me up for morning prayer..

Is it too much to ask to confirm where we're standing?
I'm not gonna ask it now, or anytime soon. But one day I will.
Cause I'm lost. We're not just friends are we?


After a long talk with fellow girlies, I realized that this kind of relationship will work. I mean, busy, as we don't see eachother pretty often; loving and caring as we communicate everytime; laughing as we joke around; inriguing as we have lots to dig on eachother. Not much of quantity, but very high quality.

I believe the lovey goofey relationship no longer works for me. I don't need lots of romance. I don't need lots of attention. He touches the other side of me that not everyone can see. Small things, torn pieces, yet he stayed to glued it all together. I admire his sanity while dealing with me. I'm not easy, I'm fragile but I don't break easily. I once left, he didn't. He waited (intentionally or not), I hope I'm that worthy. If he ever questioned me towards him? he's that prescious that I wouldn't dream to have one. But if I do, I'll take a very good care of you till the day I close my eyes.


"Hey you somewhere there.. yeah, it's you I'm talking about.."

beginikah?

people changed, tings changed -monica, in Friends 1.1

kok gitu ya, kelakuannya sekarang?
menurut gue sih jadi agak belaguk..
tapi yasudahlah...
perubahan adalah sesuatu yang konstan..
saya harus bisa menyesuaikan dengan keadaan..
daripada saya sebal,
lebih baik saya menjaga dan membatasi diri..

AIPL 2000

hihi ketemu lagi sama anak2 AIPL 2000.
Semua masih yang sama, kecuali yang cewek2 udah pada bawak anak :P

Fasting Break Reunion 2010 - Class of 2000 FEUI

this is not us though...hehehe

How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it! ~ George Elliston

As always, we tried to meet up with uni buds every year. Sometimes we make charity events, sometimes it's just a smple gathering. Lately, each one of us are either getting busy or put their priorities on family and kids. Which makes it less easier to meet up.

Puti is our best organizer. Somehow she just can made us meet up. This time, we decided to do potluck. Why? Because we consider the other family members, it'll be more comfortable to do various activities insomeone's house rather than in restaurant(s). Some can eat, play, watch movies, or even all of those. Spontaneously we choose Riri's friends. First, because it's her own house; and second, because we have lots of memories in the house. And I will share about the second reason.

The house is in South Jakarta, Bintaro. Riri has always been among the smartest in the group. Thus, she cares alot about us, her friends. She helps us on our studies, indeed she's a very good tutor. On times before and during exams, we stayed in her house to study. I remember when I took the advanced accounting subject, I don't understand a bit. She taught me everything about the subject, and I passed on the exam. Some other subjects, we just share our knowledge to have deeper understanding from several point of views. Long story short, that house had helped us to obtain our Bachelor degree. No wonder why it means alot :)

Anyway, this afternoon, unexpectedly, most of us made it. There were like more than 30 person came with their plus 1, husband, wife, kids, and or assistants. We can't barely believe it was already a decade ago since we used to stay there on exams period. The interior has changed, she made the ground floor became the kids corner with little tikes, plenty of toys, and open space area. Everyone enthusiatically bring foods to share. Total food fiesta, from appetizers, main courses, desserts, snacks, and drinks. Yes, we came home absolutely not with empty stomach. Even so, we managed to wrap some (hahaha can't help to resist the food temptation!), to share with family members who couldn't make it. Everyone was happy. Very happy. Extremely happy.

I believe everyone miss the good old days, and this event managed to bring it back. During the gathering we learned that we're just the same old us inside. All the jokes, all the memories, it stays in our heart. Some dirty talks (dirty means talking about work stuffs) occur, and guess what? In my upcoming job, I will be related to some of them. I then realized, how oil industries are just a small bunch of people. How FEUI-ers, Lobby-B-ers are just connected in some ways. This event is surely confirm how powerful we are (nyehehehe).

I could never have enough word to thank God on all of the blessings. I feel so rich. Thank you God, you are the best architect ever! Alhamdulillah...

Good foods, great time, and wonderful friends... How could I ask for more?...

"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes." E. E. Cummings