locked.

oh well, maybe all these things i'm writing will stay locked inside.

All i ever wanted, was a happy ending. Although some people said that when it's happy, it's not the end, yet. Years after years, you stood there to guide me, persistently on my side. And I begin to think that you're the one. I don't know yet tho. You're a good man, a very fine gentlement. But on the other side, the fact that you're being mysterious is exhausting. Until when I could hold on to this? You're everything but normal. I kinda feel this is going very slow. And you always put me on your hook. I might have to be blunt to ask you to take off that hook. I begin to got the pattern. When I text you an announcement, you won't reply. You won't respond. At all. Okay, you do sometimes. Barely. You only respond to things that excites you. I don't see me excites you that much. Hey, whatever. I don't really care. As long as you don't say that the worlds revolves around me. How come it doesn't when I only have limited access less than normal relationship. I freqwently asked how yo're doing, how's your side, and got no response. Then what should I talked about? yes! me. I want you to know much about me. I should've just shut up and see how's it going. I need to let loose. This being serious kinda thing made me expect much from us. For example, to speed things up. To try and work things out FAST. It might be my ego, but that's because I don't know what's going on on your side. I consistently been missing you. I don't think being apart do any good. This feeling of being attached, is not good. I'm always good at being on my own, controlling my own plate. This is something I need to work on. While we're apart, let's just took some time to figure things out. I believe you already did, I'm the one who need it. I want to have a normal relationship, but what's normal? define normal? So silly to believe that the expert in communication seems like lack of communication. Lots of things going on, and i need some time to breathe...

i.dope.u

we're too busy. we're not distance apart, but we're events apart. I don't get us. I don't get you. Abstract. Sometimes its just too damn scattered that I can only enjoy and try not to think too much. I don't know where you're taking me. I close my eyes, and feel...

What's the worse thing that could happen to me? .....

I dope you...

tight money policy

need to make several adjustment; particularly in financial area due to sudden changes in family condition.

investment needs to be reduced - light impact to future, changes in priorities. Target is to reduce ratio to 30-40% only. be less aggressive!

daily life cost needs to be reduced - but still live comfortably (less coffee shops visits; less luxury spending)

efficient costing - telco cost can be reduced, make sure all settings are correct

THERE. I'm officially in tight money policy